It's "Huntin' " (Not "Hunting")

It's easy to tell the "foreigner" from the locals. ("foreigners" being anyone not from West Texas) Just ask them if the've ever been huntin'. If they reply that yes, indeed they have been "hunting," well, you know they're lying.

Really, to go huntin' it's quite simple. The check list is small, and any deviance from the checklist might mean...you really don't know what you are doing. So, if you want to be a true West Texas hunter, I recommend the following:

West Texas Huntin' Check List

1.) Deer Rifle (I don't know what exact make or model of gun might work for you. You will have to take that up with my dad....a true West Texas expert) If you do show up with a shotgun, then you are from the city and have no idea what you are doing, or... you are from the city and have no idea what you are doing.

2.) Deer stand. Now, don't be fooled by Cabellas or any other "city-fied" expert hunting outfit that says your deer stand must have insulation, carpet, windows that actually work, or for crying out loud....central a/c. (and a mini-fridge with an electrical cord spilling out of the blind and down the road to an outlet is completely unacceptable.) All you need is some metal poles, sheet metal, wire, and some duct tape. Duct tape can hold anything up. Oh, and a chair might be nice. Any 10 gallon bucket will do...bring a towel if you need some cushion.

3.) Binoculars. Now, if you show up to the deer stand with some outrageously priced binoculars....well, that might actually be ok. No, you might not be from the city if you have some that cost more than your living room furniture. A good pair of binoculars are a great tool for not only finding deer, but to make sure you are not shooting a cow. (City people, if you need a picture diagram of the difference between a deer and cow, please let me know.)

So, that's about it! What!? You exclaim? That's ALL you need to go huntin' in West Texas? Ok, well, let me add that you need a huntin' license (Again - huntin', not "hunting") to make you legal. So yep, (another West Texas term) that's all you need.

Oh, and here's one more tip to prove to the local-yocals that you actually know what you are doing (ahem, city people): For Cryin' Outloud, don't show up in a camouflage truck. Better yet, take the minimalist approach to camouflage while huntin'. West Texans can't stand it when some yuppie pulls up to deer camp with his monster camo truck with nary a scratch that has camo rims, huge mud tires and a big ol' camo cooler in the back for the supposed honkin' deer he's gonna bag. Locals know you are a city dweller when you show up to the deer blind in camo pants, camo socks, camo boots where the soles are even camo, camo shirt, camo face mask, camo hat, camo gloves, and a camo-covered rifle. And I'm gonna smack ya if you are wearing camo face paint in that deer stand! Do you want to look like a real hunter?? Wear some sweats to the blind! Ok, some jeans and a camo shirt are ok....

And if you don't understand the words "yep, nary, big ol', or honkin' ", be advised city person, that you might just want to head back to the concrete jungle after you shoot 3 times and still miss that cow from 25 yards. Don't head to the local burger joint and guffaw loudly with each other over the misconstrued manly "hunting" exploits you have just supposedly encountered..."man, I shot that thing with open-sights from 400 yards..." You will just get a lot of eye-rolling from the waitress. Wait, better yet, please do go get a burger. You'll provide us West Texans an evening of entertainment!



What you need.... a rifle & some binoculars.




Ok, so I am wearing some camo...but I got jeans & tennis shoes on!



Lon in his carhart... another acceptable form of clothing for huntin'.


View from the blind...
We didn't see anything that day! But it was fun to be outdoors & together....two of the biggest reasons for huntin'.